The giant conker (chestnut) trees at Herstmonceux Castle.Conkers are living things! Duelling them against one another with the aim of trying to destroy is both violent and gregarious. How shameful of us to do such things for entertainment purposes*!
Why my sudden outburst in defense of the conker, you ask? Because I only realised today that the conker is the seed of a chestnut tree meaning that it is in fact ALIVE. How did this realisation come about?
Oh, well, erm, when I found the conker that sparked my newfound knowledge and devotion shrivelled inside my handbag from where I had left it last... so maybe 'devotion' wasn't the best word to describe my relationship towards it actually.
With neither sunlight nor water I had managed to bring about the ends of the cool conker in the least noble way - Starvation. Now that is shameful. I'm a conker killer...
In order to make amends for ending the life of a conker too early, I now stand as an advocate against the useless harm that is brought against these seeds that are the promise of life (see picture above for an example).
No longer will the conker suffer from needless duels that are contrived by children who have little else to do to preoccupy themselves. I will stand up and fight for the conker's right to live - well, so long as I can take the pain, which isn't really that long as I have a pretty low pain threshold...
Nor shall another conker suffer from starvation in the depths of my handbag that is filled with useless rubbish**. I will persevere and attempt to eschew (is that even the right word?) my pack-rat ways. Here, here! Long live the conker!
* otherwise referred to by some as 'shits and giggles'.
** Case in point: the fact that there was a conker in my handbag for weeks paints a pretty detailed picture as to the state of my handbag and its contents at any arbitrary time.
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